SEXY
CAMPING
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, Wrestling the Anaconda
Journey back to the days when sexy Marlin Perkins and Jim 'made it happen' for outdoor enthusiasts!
A humorous, blown out of proportion reflection. It just doesn't
get any sexier than this.....
Marlin is planted in the foreground like a grandfather oak, his gaze fixed directly into the camera. He's so calm it almost appears he has been electronically transposed into the violent scene that's transpiring behind him. As he speaks, the white mustache gallops with each spoken word like a painfully slow horse.
Thirty plus years ago, one mode that the outdoor enthusiast used to get in touch with nature was Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. This television classic was a collaboration of wild animals mingled with Marlin Perkins' lazy drawl and Jim Fowler's courage. It was a true adventure feast. Many times, Jim was almost the feast.
Marlin and Jim were continuously traveling, in search of a great adventure. It was always exciting. Marlin would stand in the foreground explaining the adventure; Jim was generally in the background wrestling with bush and beast.
There was one particular episode that was exceptionally entertaining. The stars: one large foreign continent, a stiff looking Marlin, a frazzled Jim, and one huge anaconda. The day looked deliciously perfect, but this was Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. The name of the game: danger. It went something like this…
Marlin is planted in the foreground like a grandfather oak, his gaze fixed directly into the camera. He's so calm it almost appears he has been electronically transposed into the violent scene that's transpiring behind him. As he speaks, the white mustache gallops with each spoken word like a painfully slow horse.
MARLIN: "Jim has made his way into the river and is approaching the anaconda. Watch out for the piranha, Jim." Pause. Then in an overly calm voice, "Careful, Jim." Pause. "Looks like the anaconda is making its way towards Jim."
Jim is decked out in his cream-colored safari suit – the one he wears every week for the show. The sweat stains and alligator puke from the previous show are gone. His legs are cocked as he slowly and cautiously ambles towards the vicious looking anaconda whose head has surfaced above the rim of the river.
MARLIN: "Looks like Jim's in a bit of trouble. The anaconda has him. Look at the body on that snake."
AT HOME AUDIENCE: "Oh my God! Look at the body on that snake!! Ahhh!!"
Blood is pumping at a furious speed through all the hearts of the viewers. Meanwhile, back on the screen, Marlin looks as calm as a turnip. Jim continues to be thrashed around like a blurred side of beef caught in a tornado. The audience manages to catch a glimpse of Jim as he's tossed into the air. His mouth is wide open, his tonsils clearly visible.
MARLIN: "You go, Jim. You can do this. Whoops. Jim's in a spot of trouble again."
Twenty minutes later, our hero Jim has managed to tame the wild nuisance of a snake. Marlin has managed to sell a few insurance policies, and Jim looks like Tyson's latest conquest. Oh well, they just don't make shows the way they used to, folks.
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